Reflections on the Vitreous

Someone close to me had been seeing flashes of light in one corner of his eye. It had been going on for a few days before he told me about it. It was a casual mention and I didn’t take it too seriously. After all, I get those little flashes too, and it’s fairly normal for me. When he mentioned it a second time it warranted a trip to the emergency room. That night he was put through a series of tests to rule out TIA – mini strokes – which I hadn’t considered a possibility, and of course they tested for retinal detachments. The result was a referral to an ophthalmologist the next day.

The next day he was put through another series of tests which showed no indication of retinal tears or other eye disease. They recommended following up with an optometrist in 4-6 weeks. They also suggested prescription glasses.

We waited about a week and stayed curious about his symptoms during that time. The flashes of light stopped after all the testing was finished. What replaced the flashes was what he described as a jellyfish right in his line of sight.

To me that sounded a bit like a floater – something I have a lot of experience with. I have always had floaters, all different sizes and shapes. A few are fairly large and I often have to wait for them to move aside before I can see around them. I can’t see fast, because of those large floaters.

His jellyfish was not moving. We made an appointment for the optometrist immediately.

Why This Post?

The optometrist was the one who sparked this post. She explained how his eye was changing. The vitreous fluid starts out as a firm gel that is strongly attached to the retina. The retina is what allows us to see. Over time the vitreous softens and begins to lose its attachment to the retina. This is normal and usually the vitreous falls away easily without impacting our sight. Sometimes it hangs on the retina and leaves a hole when it finally detaches. If the hole is not repaired and closed up, fluid can escape behind the retina and cause sight loss. Sometimes there is a large tear to the retina which requires immediate surgery. Sometimes when it falls away there are floaters, which generally settle down and the brain learns to ignore them.

In this case, a small portion held on and when it finally detached it left behind a small hole and a very large floater that sits right in his line of sight. His personal jellyfish.

The optometrist referred him to a retina specialist and the very next day he was cycled through another series of testing at that clinic, followed up with a laser treatment to close the hole. He may still get glasses. For now his eye is safe and healthy.

Thoughts on the Word Vitreous

Vitreous definition
the gel that fills the eye between the lens and the retina has been known as the “vitreous humor,” the “vitreous body,” or simply “the vitreous,” presumably for the gel’s clear, glassine appearance (Vocabulary.com)

Vitriol synonyms
invective, vituperation. type of: abuse, contumely, insult, revilement, vilification. a rude expression intended to offend or hurt.

I googled both of these words because they sound so similar (and my apologies for not tagging the source for vitriol). They are not. Vitreous is clear – easy to see through. Vitriol is how the inability to see clearly manifests. My take on it anyway.

What It Means To Me

When I heard the optometrist explaining this natural process I immediately knew that this is the natural way for all life. As we age our bodies soften and release attachments. It is necessary for our thoughts and words to soften, to lose the attachment for “winning” arguments, and instead allow for discussions where all voices are heard and considered, allowing the wisdom of each individual the time and space to settle and be incorporated into our civilization’s way of life. We need to lose the attachment to always being right, and allow new ideas and new ways to come forth.

Our bodies can say things and react to things that we may not be aware of in our thoughts. In the case I’ve just described, I don’t know why the vitreous did not detach cleanly and without floaters. I don’t know if this event will have the profound effect on him as it has had on me. I don’t need to know that, and it’s not really my business to assume. It IS my business to relate that event to the world around me.

Why It Matters

This is what comes up for me: It is when we fight this natural process that problems arise. There are tears in the fabric of our relationships. There are holes in our communities. There is a loss of vision as the curtains of attachments fall down to obscure all other viewpoints.

I see it in our politicians. The inability to let go of the attachment to the “rich old white man” power and corruption way of life. The inability to allow other viewpoints in. The inability to allow the floaters a place to exist. The holes in our civilizations where differences are cause for persecution and death.

This is the “civilization” where the pursuit of power results in children being shot in schools – the very place where they are placed to safely learn how to fit in to this life. What are these children learning? That they are worthless? That they are pawns in a war they did not choose? Will they learn to fight back against the corruption that places their value so far below the value of power and money? Or will they learn to fight for their share of the power and money? Will there be positive change or continued ramping up of corruption?

This is the civilization where the fear of women seizing their rightful personal autonomy results in the attempts to reduce them to child-bearing animals with no say in the child they bear or their own personal wellbeing. What happens when women walk away from this kind of persecution? Will they rise together to fight this persecution and corruption? Or will they just disappear into another land where they are treated as human beings with rights and wisdom of their own? Where they are accepted for all they have to offer, and where they are supported with all the love and care they need and deserve? And will they return fortified with the knowledge that they matter and that they CAN take back the power that has been stolen from them?

Beware corrupters – when the women leave, civilization dies. When they return, strong in the knowledge of their worth, corrupters will wither and die.

I know this fact to be true. I witnessed it on the farm I grew up on. The boys were revered, given money and privileges and the promise of land and power. The girls were expected to earn their keep as cooks, cleaners, gardeners – and then they were encouraged to leave the farm and its wealth behind. Eventually each girl grew up and left the farm to find her own way.

New women were not welcomed to the farm. One persevered long enough to present the next farm generation – one boy, one girl. And the cycle continued. The wife and the girl left. The boy stayed.

That farm is dying without women but they are blind to that. They only see the land that has been amassed, the growing bank accounts, the expanding buildings. But there is no compassion. There is no empathy for each other. There is no place for love and forgiveness and tenderness. There is no support for each other. There is only war and bitterness and the struggle for power as the remaining boys/men fight to the death.

Now another woman has arrived. Soon she will bring a child into this farm. Will it be a girl? Perhaps a girl who can break the corruption? Or a boy? Perhaps a boy who can see and change the corruption from within? Is there still hope? Or is it too late?

And…Life Is Hard, Right?

Nobody knows the future. It’s easy to see that when everyone sits back and stays silent – allowing the attachments to corruption and power to remain far past their expiry date – our civilization will continue to crumble.

The hard thing is to fight. The hard thing is to comply.
The hard thing is to speak up. The hard thing is to stay silent.
The hard thing is to stay. The hard thing is to leave.
The hard thing is to struggle to change for the better. The hard thing is to accept the status quo.
The hard thing is to love in the absence of love. The hard thing is to stop loving.
The hard thing is to empathize in the absence of empathy. The hard thing is to withdraw empathy.

The truth is that life is hard. Each of us must choose our own version of hard. What knowledge can you live with? The knowledge you didn’t try to change what is wrong, or the knowledge that you couldn’t try? Women and children have been so well trained for so many generations that we believe we are powerless. We MUST learn our own very high worth.

We matter.
We have wisdom. We can continue to learn.
We have the knowledge and tools to make a positive difference.

There IS a time to walk away. When those in power are unable to love, unable to care for others, unable to see that their actions have painful results, walk away fast. When their narcissism knows no bounds there is only a battlefield just waiting for the tender ones to die so they can feast on their flesh and bones. They leave no scraps behind. Walk away, leave them nothing to feed on, and they will be the ones to die.

And…Life Is Good

There is a second truth. Life does not need to be hard. In the right environment, life is gentle, peaceful, loving, natural, filled with compassion and acceptance. When we learn to create this kind of life, life is good. When we find those places where we fit perfectly, we thrive exactly as nature intended for us.

Meanings & Stories

This is what comes to me after experiencing second hand the simple, normal, natural process of a man’s vitreous losing its attachment to the retina. There is meaning and story in everything around us.

What do you see?