I am feeling so depressed. It’s lasting for days and days, and feels like a worse depression than I have had for a very long time. Desperately sad. Desperately lonely. Feeling like I am absolutely alone, that no one truly cares for me, even though I KNOW that is not … Read more
We went to mom’s on Wednesday. We took lunch, shepherd’s pie that was still a bit frozen so it took longer to cook than it should have, but oh well. I feel like my mother and I are strangers. I feel no real connection to her. When I see her, … Read more
I am being chased. No. That’s not quite right. Hunted. A slower pace. I know he is looking for me. I move carefully, slowly, aware of each soft sound I make as I step on to the grassy ground outside my home. I walk crouched down, so my head does … Read more
I am in a room filled with people. I am there with two other women and I don’t think I know very many people. I watch but don’t really engage with anyone. The two women I came with are very involved with each other and I feel like a third … Read more
I hated being at the farm, hated how it felt when I went there, hated how it made me feel even after I left. I couldn’t completely shake those feelings, no matter how hard I partied or worked or studied. Nothing worked to stop those feelings from creeping in. Doubt, … Read more
Trauma recovery is not for the faint of heart. Not for me, and not for the people who love me. My healing journey may repulse readers. Nobody wants to know about bad things happening. It’s easier to pretend it doesn’t exist or that it only happens to other families. The … Read more